the DressThere's a pretty dressI've never worn in publicA kind of ebony blue jewel.When I am by myselfsometimes I will try it on.It's just cloth, but I feel beautiful for once.I spin in circleswatching the beaded flowers danceabout my bare anklesA simple joy inside.It is then I realizeThere is no one to see mein this dress i so admire.I dare not ventureInto the sea of plain facesFor the stares I cannot standas they laugh insideat my dress I like to wearwhen no one is around.I am saddened againas I hang my dress in shame.I need to stop pretendingthat love will find me.I should stop trying to convince myself;I know I am not attractive.But somewhere inside,On those nightswhen everyone is goneAnd I take out my dress once morea thin hope arises.Maybe someone, somewhereThinks I am beautiful.For now it is Istaring at my reflection.I am that personthat thinks I could have beenin some past lifeA lady with high class.
Red 23My veins can't do justice to the Novocain.Needles sewing their liquid thread,Twisting like the hallways of an abortion clinic;Thousands dieVoices never heardCries never calledAll I have leftAppear to be these blood stained sheetsBetween my knees.There's no light at the end of the tunnelJust columns of namesStained with ink and paper.The core of meRotting away with the discarded flesh of my beingThe last I recallBefore the vacuum of eternal damnation;Those lightsOh, the pale, cold lights shining in my eyesNever did courtesyTo your complexion.
Verse of Broken BeartsWho benefits from self-destruction?Nothing left to die forWhen everything is gone.I was real.I could touch the starsBut thenA synthetic love yet againNot real.Not here.A Physical dreamWaiting to disappear when you wake upFrom your lust filled dream.
Pixl DiseaseThe ink stained paper pressed against my skin left the reverse words to my most resent song on my cheek. It was taxing staying up until three in the morning trying to get some good material for the band. My mind was numb and I had already finished off four JDs that night. The only light in the room was the glowing television screen with Mario still paused. Benji and Preston where both passed out on the carpet in front of the couch and I knew Arisu had been curled in bed since nine of last night. Aggie was yet to return from her voyage to the local dumpster. The pull of worry was always there in the back of my mind whenever she went dumpster diving alone. We have all been sharing the same apartment, living off minimum wage jobs and handouts from fast food restaurant co-workers. The place was tiny. One bedroom, a bathroom, kitchen and living room. I guess it was all right. We all managed to keep alive.I absentmindedly played with the pen in my hand. I had to think of something before Fr